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Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts

Internet Dating And Finding Love Online - Is It Possible In This Age And Time

Internet Dating And Finding Love Online - Is It Possible In This Age And Time


Introduction To Online Dating



The very concept of internet dating scares some people. It can seem dangerous, and if it isn't dangerous, it's impersonal and caters toward people who can't get a date any other way. 

With these assumptions and more behind the concept, it's no wonder many singles don't give internet dating a second glance.

However, more and more people are discovering the truth: these assumptions are false and can keep you from finding love and deep friendship online. 

As internet dating becomes more and more popular, it's harder and harder for some to stay away, no matter what they believe or how much they want to.


Find The Truth



If you have stayed away from internet dating because it seems a little scary, rest assured that you're not alone. However, if you want to find love and aren't having success through any of the traditional ways, you might want to reconsider your choice to stay away from dating online.

Before you commit yourself to any one choice, it will help to evaluate the assumptions you're carrying. If you believe that internet dating is dangerous, impersonal, or only for the socially inept, investigate these ideas to find out whether or not they're actually true.


Talk To People



The best way to find out the truth about internet dating is to ask people who have tried it. Most likely, you know more than one person who has put up a profile on an internet dating site and communicated with several people that way. 

You might even know someone who met a significant other or even a spouse online. These are the people you'll want to talk to.

Make sure you talk to more than one person, though, so you get an accurate picture of what it means to date online. One good or bad experience might color your view of internet dating in a way that isn't accurate, but you should get a well-rounded point of view if you talk to several people who have tried it.


Do Your Research



In addition to talking to people who have dated online, do some reading on the subject. There are some great articles online, and books like this one can be especially helpful. 

Make sure that the information you get seems to come from a balanced perspective, and that it pertains to the specific type of internet dating you are thinking about pursuing.


Make Your Own Decision



More than anything else, make sure that the decision you make about internet dating is your own. In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about the choice as long as you are happy with it.

If you investigate and decide that there's a good chance you could meet someone special online, pursue internet dating in spite of what other friends and family members might think. 

You might have to put up with some comments here and there, but the people who doubt your choice will think again after they see you find love online.


What To Talk About Before Getting Married Or Committing To Your Partner

What To Talk About Before Getting Married Or Committing To Your Partner

Have The Right Conversations


In the beginning, it's often enough just to talk to each other about light-hearted topics. But once you've done that and have realized that you think you want to commit to your current partner, there are some important conversations you should have.

Some of these are more relevant to some couples than to others, but every relationship that wants to move from casual to committed should deal with each question in some way. If you find that you and your partner need more time on one topic than on others, that's fine, too.


Money


You've probably heard that every couple should discuss money before they make a lasting commitment to each other. Whether you've heard it so many times that it sounds like a cliche to you or this is the first time you've run across it, this is one conversation you must have.

By the time you get to this conversation, you probably have some sense of how your partner handles money. Think about what you've seen them do. Do they spend money spontaneously or research every nitpicking detail before they buy anything? Do they save and invest some of their income or does it all go toward living expenses or discretionary spending?

While observation is helpful for determining how your partner works in this area, be sure to talk about these issues, too. You don't have to be on exactly the same page for your relationship to work, but it helps to know where you're both coming from.


Past Relationships


This is a topic that many people are afraid to discuss with their current partner. While you don't want to go on and on about how great a past relationship or partner was, you and your significant other should talk about how your relationships went in the past and what you hope goes differently this time around.

The fear of having this conversation might still linger even after you've started talking. It can be helpful to remember that, if by some strange chance your partner won't commit to you after hearing about your past, they are probably not someone you wanted to be with anyway.


Religion


This is another big topic that many couples shy away from. However, if you're going to be in a committed relationship, you'll need to know where the other person is regarding religion. 

Many couples agree to disagree, but it's still important to know where your partner is coming from in this area and to let them know where you're at, too.


Future Plans


When you're thinking about committing to a long-term relationship with someone, it's good to know that they are heading in a direction you can support. While it's unlikely that you will both be going in exactly the same direction, that's not necessary for a solid, loving relationship. 

As long as your partner isn't planning something that's diametrically opposed to your own plans, the relationship can be a success.


What You Care About?


In addition to the topics outlined above, be sure to discuss with your partner anything you care about deeply. If it would affect your lives together, bring it up and see how your partner feels about it.

The Secret To Long Lasting Relationships And Friendships

The Secret To Long Lasting Relationships And Friendships

Do Daily Things Together To Bond



When it comes to building friendship, one of the best things you can do is spend time together doing normal, daily tasks like going for a walk, taking a trip to the grocery store, and even cleaning the house. 

These aren't things you might think to do on a normal date, but they are the things that will best build a strong bond of friendship between you and your partner.

It's in the normal, daily tasks that you and your partner will each get to see what the other is really like. When you're dating, it can be easy to try and make yourself into someone who is more appealing to your partner. 

After all, you both put on your best behavior on dates and dress to impress. These are the sides of you your partner saw during the casual phase of your relationship.

When you spend normal time together, these facades often fall away. You'll get to see your partner as they really are and they will get to do the same with you.


Start With An Afternoon



The prospect of spending even a whole day with your partner without having anything special planned can seem daunting, especially if you haven't had much time together just hanging out. If you feel this way, you'll want to start with a shorter amount of time, like an afternoon.

Pick a day where you usually run errands or clean up around the house. Invite your partner over to do those things with you. Let them know what to expect, both in terms of what you'll be doing and what you'll expect them to do.

A good example is doing a little grocery shopping. Don't make it a major restocking shop, but be sure your partner knows you just need to pick up a few things. Ask for some input as to how to make it a little easier, or if there's anything specific they like to eat that you might add to your grocery list. 
 
If it still sounds unappealing to spend time like this with your partner, plan to go to dinner or see a movie afterwards. This can be motivation for you both to finish what needs to get done quickly and try to enjoy your time together even though it's different than what you're used to.


What If It Is Awful?



If you try to spend normal time with your partner and you both hate it, don't give up. When you're used to doing more exciting things together, spending time doing normal things can feel like a letdown.

Instead of walking away from this sort of interaction or, even worse, from the whole relationship, commit to trying it a few times. 

Include different activities and think up things you might ask your partner to contribute some ideas as to how you can make those tasks a little quicker or more fun.  You'll both be able to look at a mundane activity in a new light this way.

 

You should give yourself at least three or four chances to interact like this before you give up on it.



If you do give yourselves multiple chances and you find that it still isn't working, you might want to consider whether or not the relationship can work long-term. 

When you're with someone in a committed relationship, you end up spending a lot more normal time together than you do going to special events or even out on dates. 

If spending that kind of time together is painful, this might not be a relationship where you can commit and find true love.


The Good Things And The Bad Things About Online Dating

The Good Things And The Bad Things About Online Dating

Is It Right For You



Now, you're ready to get started dating. There are a lot of different venues available for you to meet your perfect partner, and you'll want to choose one or more of them that you think are most compatible with who you are, the type of relationship you want, and who you want to meet.

One of the most common dating venues is online dating. While it used to have a stigma attached to it, so many people have met their partners online that it's now seen as a great way to meet partners. In determining whether it's right for you, though, there are some things you'll want to consider.


The Pros To Online Dating



Searching for a partner online is great for people who are comfortable with technology. If you check email often and keep up with your friends mainly through Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites, then online dating sites could probably be a good dating venue for you to consider. If any of the above-mentioned sites make you uncomfortable, however, you might want to think twice before investing your time and energy here.

Dating online is also great for people who don't have very much time, or who have most of their free time available at a time of day when other people aren't available. If, for instance, you work nights but spend most of that time on the computer, online dating might be a great way for you to use some of those hours.

Finally, online dating can help people who are shy, introverted, or who hate going to social gatherings for another reason to still meet their perfect partner. Because most online dating sites give you a chance to get to know someone without having to meet first, it can cover some of the awkward moments that often occur in real life meetings.


The Cons To Online Dating



On the downside, it can be hard to know what is and is not real in the world of online dating. Thus, in-person meetings, when you finally get to them, can be disappointing and difficult. It would be nice to say that everyone you meet online is honest and no one is saying anything untrue, but that's a falsehood in and of itself. 

The truth is that, while most people on online dating sites are there in all goodwill, there are always those there to take advantage of others, and it can be hard to know the difference before you meet in person.

In addition, online dating can move too slowly for some people. If you're extroverted or want to get things moving, online dating might take longer than your patience or time-frame will allow.


Online Dating Tips



The most important tip about dating online is finding a reputable site. If you're new to this world, make sure you talk to someone who has dated this way or at least read some site reviews before you invest any time or energy in using a particular service.

When you do choose a service, be honest and straightforward in your profile. Don't be afraid to put a realistic, recent photo of yourself up. No matter how critical you are about your own appearance, you may find that you are perceived as attractive by someone reading your profile. 

While it may be tempting to stretch the truth in some areas, that will only cause you problems later. Be honest about your interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes and anything else you think could spark a common interest with a potential new partner. 

This will make it much easier for you to find compatible people who share the same interests, ideals, goals or beliefs as you do.

Building Trust In A Relationship By Asking The Hard Questions

Building Trust In A Relationship By Asking The Hard Questions

Ask At Appropriate Times



When it comes to learning to trust a partner and helping them learn to trust you, it's important to ask hard questions. However, it's also important to ask them at appropriate times. 

While it may be difficult to bring yourself to talk about certain things and you may hesitate to bring up topics that might be "off limits" in normal conversation, asking and answering these questions will give you a foundation of truth upon which you can build your loving relationship.


Ask The Questions



Sometimes, hard questions are simply the things you want to know about your partner but are afraid to ask. This can include questions about their past, including past relationships and family dynamics, and questions about their future, maybe focusing on their goals and aspirations.

The thing that can make these questions hard is the actual fact of asking them. When you're used to a casual relationship with someone, questions like these automatically begin to take it to the next level. If your casual relationship is comfortable, it can be hard to make any move that might disturb that.

In addition, if you ask these sorts of questions, you might find out things about your partner that are hard. Maybe she's not completely over an ex-boyfriend, or his mother still causes problems in his life. 

While you'll have to work through difficult issues with any long-term partner, facing them can be difficult. Because asking hard questions means you'll have to face these things, you might not be motivated to step up and do it.


Answer The Questions



You aren't the only one in the relationship who needs to ask hard questions in order to build trust and develop a commitment. Your partner has a need to do so as well, and you should try to be open to the things he or she wants to know about you.

It can be even harder to answer questions than it is to ask them. If there are aspects of your life that you know will be hard for your significant other or that you think it might be hard for them to accept, answering questions that touch on those subjects can cause fear and pain.

There may also be moments in your past that are so painful you almost never talk about them. The thought of discussing them with anyone, let alone revealing them to someone whose good opinion you desire, can bring back the original pain in a forceful way. If your partner truly cares about you, revealing these things can cause them pain, as well.

In the end, though, you must talk about these things if you're going to build real trust with your partner. If they are willing to work through difficult issues and stand by you even when you're hurting, you will be more likely to want to commit to loving them. The same is true for your partner.

In the end, the conversations generated by asking hard questions can be some of the most valuable parts of your relationship. They can look scary and difficult before you have them, but afterward will be some of the basic building blocks of trust in your relationship.


Being Friends With Your Partner - Is It A Good Thing For Your Relationship Or Not

Being Friends With Your Partner - Is It A Good Thing For Your Relationship Or Not

Pursue Common Interests


When you're in the process of building trust and getting to know each other, hopefully you'll also start building a close friendship with your partner. If you're going to commit to a long-term relationship and work at building true love, make sure you're doing it with someone who you not only love, but also like and enjoy spending time with. 

In an extended relationship, it can be this sort of deep friendship that holds things together when times are tough or you feel like the spark is gone.

One of the best ways to build a friendship is to pursue common interests. When you're specifically working at making a casual relationship deeper, working to build common interests from the ground up can be especially effective. Thus, it will pay off for the two of you to spend some time learning something new together.

Make Sure The Interest Is Common


While there's definitely a place for both of you to pursue something that only one of you is interested in, when building a new interest you should make sure it's something that you both really want to do. Most likely, one of you will be more interested in it than the other one is, but it still should be something both parties have a legitimate interest in.

Find Something To Learn


The possibilities for interests you can pursue together are endless. You can learn everything from dancing to pottery to gardening to a foreign language and more! If you're not sure where to start, it can help to look through the catalog of a local community college. While you might not want to do something as serious as taking a class together, it will give you a good idea of the different interests you could pursue.

There are also lots of ways for the two of your to pursue your interests. You can take a class, hire a tutor, find a friend who knows what they're doing and convince them to work with you, or try to teach yourselves.
 
Some interests, like learning a foreign language, will be better pursued through some sort of formal means while others, like learning to cook Thai food together, are things you could probably teach yourselves.

Get Serious


It's easy to say that you're going to pursue learning something new, but that's much harder to do in actual practice. If you're serious about building a solid friendship with your significant other, though, you'll also want to be serious about learning your new thing together.

Ask your partner to keep you accountable and be willing to do the same for them. This doesn't mean that you have to hound one another, but it can help you remember to do things like scheduling time focused on your interest and collecting materials between times.

In the process of learning something new together, you will not only find knowledge you didn't have before, but you'll also build part of the foundation for a close friendship with your partner. This friendship will help you commit to each other, forming another aspect of true love.


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